S is in NICU

S was born by C-section Friday 5/21. He weighed 8lbs and 3 Oz at just 36 weeks. His lungs were mature and had he not inhaled amniotic fluid he would be home right now. Instead he is in the NICU battling pneumonia. He has been on a breather. He has an i.v. in the side of his head. He has a feeding tube and he is also on a jaundice light. Pray for my little one he improves everyday...but not fast enough to calm a Mom's heart.

C-section today

Its 1:50 am as I sit writing this. I should be asleep but I can't. I went to the doctor Thursday for a regular check up... There just wasn't anything regular about it. My doctor wanted to immediately send me to the hospital to get an emergency
C-section....but she and I came to an agreement and instead I will be having a
C-section here shortly. I needed time. A moment to breath in my son as an only son. A little later today his whole world will change and I wanted to give him one more day of what he was used to. We went out and had dinner as a family of 3 for the last time. I didn't know how sad I would feel at this...or how guilty. Why do I feel so guilty? I am not excited at the prospect of what I will go through today. I won't be given an epidural or spinal tap due to complications caused by my cancer years ago. I will be put under general anesthesia. So instead of being able to immediately enjoy my new son I will be out for hours. Don't get me wrong I am looking forward to meeting the new little guy...but there is a part of me that is so sad. I am only 36 weeks pregnant maybe if I had a little longer I would feel differently. I would be ready for this....I knew this new path was coming up in my life...I just wasn't ready to walk on it yet..

So please if you pray say a prayer for me and my family...no matter what your religion or what your belief...Think of us today and send good thoughts good energy and even love our way....because I need it...we all do.

As far as blogging you may not see me for a while. I will be back when I can.

A walk on the farm

We went to my Mom and Dad's one night this past week for dinner. It was a simple dinner. I got to pick the menu....partly because I am pregnant and mostly because I begged...lol. I asked for breakfast. My Mom made her biscuits and sausage gravy and I took a breakfast casserole. My grandparents were there. After we ate I dragged everybody out for a walk...It was a long slow lazy walk around the farm and here are a few of the pictures I took.



The wheat is almost ready for harvest.




H the one time I could get him to stop running....he slept good that night!



The honeysuckle is starting to take over...notice its almost covering a gate.




I dropped behind to take a shot of everbody slowly walking along...ofcourse no one noticed...What if I was fell over having contractions??...no one would have noticed...lol

Wordless Wednesday

picture title: Pawpaw's glasses

I am still here and pregnant.

Just wanted to stop by and say I am still here...and currently still pregnant. Right at this moment I am 34 weeks and 3days pregnant. Last week I had a long visit to labot and delivery where they started giving me the steroid shots to mature his lungs. I go every Monday and Thursday to the doctors office and get monitored. Today there was talk of doing my c-section next week. I walked away from the office feeling a little sad. Hopefully I can stay pregnant as long as possible for the little guys sake. I know its not a long post just wanted to say I am still here and haven't forgot about you...so don't forget about me!