I need a good stiff kick in the behind...

I think the title says it all. I need my behind kicked...um stiffly whatever that means. It's been a while since I have posted. With good reason.... I haven't had anything to say. Well I have had things to say but maybe I was to scared to say them. I am in a funk...a sad funk..a depressed funk...now I haven't been in one this whole time...off and on... I am an emotional person admittedly. Lately its more on than off. I find myself sinking. I have been battling to lose weight...which I have lost...then gained...then lost...then gained again...its a crazy cycle. I am not going to make excuses. I know what it takes to lose weight...but I have to say its hard for me. I have several things against me... My thyroid...it just doesn't work right...and I have insulin resistance... I gain weight so quickly...for example in the past two weeks I had too much on my plate and havent been going to the gym and exercising. I also haven't been eating correctly...so you know what happened. I gained 13 lbs... that's alot of weight to pile on... That's part of the funk. The 2nd part is I want to do something...but I am just not doing it. That's vague... let me elaborate. I am crafty...there is a local market here that is open on Saturday for crafters to set up a booth. I want to set up a booth. To do that I need to make stuff. Doesn't sound hard does it? I go and buy supplies and as soon as I do the inspiration leaves me... Or more honestly fear sets in. I look at all these creative people online...following their dreams opening their own business...or etsy stores. I see the things they make and I think to myself..."why didn't I think of that?" or "I could do that". The honest truth is I could...we all could. People offer tutorials for almost everything if you cant figure it out on your own. So what is stopping me from doing this.... ME... I am looking at myself really hard right now. I am pushing myself to take action... I want to take action. I want to accomplish my dreams. I want to have my own business...albeit a small something.. I want to finally lose all my weight and get healthy... I want so many things...great things...achievable things...and the only thing stopping me...is me... I am not listening to myself when I try to explain that I can do anything I just have to have faith courage and confidence...sadly although I am in a funk...I haven't lost that stubborn streak. I plan on blogging my way out of it....blogging my way through weight loss...and blogging my way out of this funk...till I accomplish my goals...oh yeah and let's not forget while I try to do this I am also trying to be a good Mom and juggling 2 really cute monsters is so much harder than it looks.