Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Apparently I am pregnant with a gigantic baby.

Warning: Before reading the following post please prepare yourself for irrational fears and emotions of a paranoid pregnant woman. If you too are paranoid please hit your back button not subject yourself to more un-necessary fears. Also those sensitive to ramblings with no point and no directions would also do well to hit your back button...this is a post, this is only a post, if it were a real breakdown there would be no post.
I went to the doctor today for a routine baby check up. Everything was fine...well sorta. I mentioned to my doctor that the baby was huge. She laughed and I said no I am serious....Now at this point I am 23wks and 5 days pregnant. I told her that I was uncomfortable and that the baby would press into my lungs..she said that wasn't possible yet..I said measure me. My doctor humored me. She broke out the tape measure and put it to my belly. She measured and then she re-measured...looked me in the eye and said well you measure 30 wks. Although I expected her to tell me that I measured ahead...I did not expect her to tell me that I measured 7 wks ahead...If I had not been laying down I might have fell down. She wasn't overly concerned and said the next time I come in they will do a ultrasound and get a definite idea of his size. Now 4 wks ago he was right on schedule. Weighed in at 12oz. That means I will worry and stress over this till my ultrasound in 3wks. See there is one thing that I am not good at....its awaiting medical tests or results...I mean I imagine the WORST...I have a good imagination too just ask my husband. If I have to wait for a while for a doctor's appointment when I am sick or if I have to wait to long for a result from a test it starts getting iffy up there in my brain...I google it and diagnose myself... You don't even want to know what all I have thought I have had...or how many times I have flipped out because of I can laugh now as I look back at it...but at the time it is not funny. I think this stems from when I had cancer. Every time the doctor had a test done it was bad news...somehow that fear programmed itself into my anything medical scares the crap out of me. I know and realize I fought cancer and won. Cancer is the scariest battle you can fight in my I feel like should have came away with bravado...instead I came away with chickenidis. That's right I said it. I came away with feathers instead of armor. In the day to day battle of life I am ready to face it head on and I do have armor. Having cancer made me stronger in every possible way...except one...medical problems are my kryptonite. When it comes to anything medical the armor falls off and you can see the feathers that I have hidden underneath (I had the beak removed). Its almost a relief to say this on here...because there are only 2 people in this whole world that know how terrified I am of anything medical. My Momma is a good southern Mom so I know she won't tell...and my husband well he is a little afraid because I am a good southern wife and have a cast iron skillet...I know he won't tell. So now 3 people know. My Mom, the Hubs and you Internet. So Internet in case you don't realize it...southern women are tough...we tote cast iron skillets and we aren't afraid to use them...If you know whats good for you, you will keep the secret Internet...because if I see an article in the Enquirer about a huge beakless chicken pregnant with a gigantic baby...I am going to know who ran their mouth...and it will ruin our friendship...totally. Remember I walk softly and carry a big skillet.


Goings on at the Glenn's said...

Hey Cas, Thank you so much for stopping by my blog today to see my baby booties I made. I too love baby shoes and they make me smile. I wish you luck with your pregnancy and just know every first pregnancy is scary and yet exciting at the same time. Personally I don't think "measuring" really works all that well. My doctors were way off on both of mine. Good luck and hope to see you again in the future. BTW your little hootie owl guy is way cute!

So Sunny Day said...

hi Cas!

you are a brave little chicken! Sharing your fears and frustrations is a tough thing to do, but it is no nice to know friends in bloggy land that are transparent. Know that I am praying for you and am looking forward to one day seeing your cutie-pie of a kiddo on here :)

Also, thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm so glad that my Balancing Act post spoke to you. May you find peace and a sence of "inner balance" as you wade the waters of uncertianty.

Blessings to ya!

~ Emily N. from "too Blessed to Stress"

Victoria said...

I have faith in you. You have an amazing story. A total inspiration! :)

Cas said...

Thanks you guys!