Saturday, January 9, 2010

Revenge is Sweet and Frozen

I am going to start this off just by saying I am pregnant. I am pregnant and hormonal...which translates to not always in control of my emotions. In times of stress I lose futher control of those emotions and it lands me where I am right now. Does anyone know how to melt boots? Ok well not boots but ice in the boots...They are so big they won't fit in the microwave and even if they would I am not sure that I want to smell the smell that would come out of those boots defrosting. I would deserve that though. The nasty boot smell I am sure that would come out of the microwave because of what I did....I am going to confess. I am going to just go ahead and get it off my chest. My son is sick...very sick and ofcourse this all hits right when we get snow and ice and can't get to the doctor...Early am on Thursday my son woke up running a fever and I gave him tylenol. After an hour of watching his temp not fall but rise I gave him motrin and proceeded to stay up all night with him. I am a night owl and don't go to bed till 2 a.m. every night so I had not even been to bed. Needless to say I stayed up till 6 a.m. before he fell asleep comfortably after his fever broke...We (translate he) got up at 10 a.m. ready to go...I dragged up at 10 a.m. with him but not ready to go. He was fine all day while the ice and snow came but fastforward to later that night...his fever goes up again and this time he lays around alot not moving...then he starts vomiting...I spend most of Thursday night cleaning up him, me and anything unlucky enough to get in our path (which was mostly just me)...Now mind you my husband is up with us too...but when H gets sick he wants me and only me thats it...So he stayed attached to me...Thursday night drifts into Friday morning and the 3 of us spend the whole night awake (thats 2 in a row for H and I). I am cruising on no sleep, exhaustion and enough worry plus hormones to make Roseanne (Barr) seem sweet. His temperature does it again and falls away with the morning. I have spent most of the night holding him...and worrying. I call the Doctor and ofcourse they will see him at 2:40p.m. ....which at 8 a.m. is pretty far away. So I have to dwell, worry and stew for quite sometime before I can breath again. The stress and crazyness is now circling over head...you can practically see it.(except my husband who apparently goes blind when a warning sign is flashing) I really do have a great husband but when I am stressed and hormonal it doesn't matter I overact like the angry/dramatic/irrational/hormonal/psycho pregnant woman I am. Now I don't get violent I am 5'4" and he is 6'5". So what good would it do if I did...bruise an ankle... plus he is smart enough not to bend his head down for me when I ask him to so I can brain him with an iron skillet...and again the only things I can really reach are ankles and knees. Those just wouldn't be as satisfying. So my usual retaliation is a mean look, a huff, and a threat...you know something like "I hope you remember how to make my Stroganoff because the only way you will ever get it again is if you make it yourself". Now you may not think this is a significant threat....but my husband likes to eat..alot. So threatening him in the food department is usally the way to go. I have used those threats too much apparently without follow through and he knows I never stick to them....they have lost their pull. My mean look and my huff don't do any good except to make me feel a little better. So there is no gratification to the craziness that comes boiling out of me....well till today. I was running back and fourth between our master bedroom and adjoining bathroom. I was trying to keep busy so that I might work some of the crazy out of my system... when boom. The crazy pregnant bomb was detonaited. I stub my toe on something....the pain the agony...you know the kind. Its so bad you can't even think of bad words to help. You suck air in but don't let any air out as the pain radiates from that tiny toe all through your body. I collapsed on our bed paralyzed. I couldn't move...I'm still holding my breath and going blue. The pain is magnifying to a deep throb. When my eyes uncrossed I could finally see what had almost brought about the great toe breakage of 2010. Can anyone guess what it was? It was a pair of size 14 black waterproof work boots...boots that I had repeatedly asked someone not pregnant and owned said boots to put them away so a situation like this wouldn't happen...I seen those boots and something clicked in my head...crazy pregnant lady took over..It didn't help I was still holding my breath so I am pretty sure the lack of oxygen was also a culprit. B (the hubs) was asleep on the couch which also didn't help his case. It only made crazy pregnant lady's anger boil harder. He who is not pregnant, who did not put away his shoes, who hadn't spent the majority of the night covered in grossness was asleep and snoring peacefully away. I grabbed up those boots not really knowing what I was doing or thinking and took them (limped them) into our bathroom. I went straight to the tub and put them under the water and filled his waterproof boots up. I know they really are waterproof for sure now because not a drop of water came back out....then I walked them to our front door opened it and set thim outside. Outside in the snowy icy weather where the temprature was 14 degrees. I shut the door leaned back against it and felt very satisfied...the crazy pregnant woman beast was quiet and glowing with triumph. That glow lasted for about 3 minutes before the guilt set in. I was heading back to the door to get them when H woke up from a short nap he was taking. He is extra fussy so I went straight to him...and accidentally forgot those boots. I went on about my day oblivious to the popsicles in the making. We left took the baby to the doctor. Got meds and a diagnosis. Strep throat again. This time it was worse they say because he had little white bumps in his throat and his throat was very swelled. We left the doctor's office after 4 pm went to pick up medicine and then headed home finally. We had a simple dinner of soup and went about our nightly routine of getting H ready for bed. Then my husband starts looking for his boots so he can have them ready the next morning....I helped him look for them (pregnancy brain rot made me forget what I did that is my story and I am sticking to it). Suddenly it dawned on me where they were. You should have seen his face when I told him...he ran out and grabbed the boots. Sure enough those things are really waterproof and there is a boot shaped popsicle in each one to prove it. So now I sit here with boots that have popsicles in them and I feel guilty (kinda)....but the crazy pregnant part of me is glowing still with sweet revenge...the only upside to the whole thing is I just bet when I huff and give him a mean look now it has more pull than it did before...if it doesn't I may find something else to freeze...hahaha.

4 comments:

Lindsey said...

Oh. My. Goodness, that is hilarious! lol At least it is for me... hopefully crazy pregnant lady doesn't want to hurt me for saying that. ;-) I know exactly how it feels to be a crazy pregnant lady because I've been one... so don't hurt me, please.

I hope your little one is feeling better! It's hard watching them suffer.

And yeah, I think you have gained a significant amount of respect. ;-)

Lindsey said...

Oh, did you just let them thaw out naturally?

Lindsey said...

P.S. I'm trying to figure out how i can subscribe and I can't find an email option. lol I don't really keep track unless things are sent to my email. So hopefully you'll comment on my blog often and tell me you wrote a new post so I can come read it! Or just comment and I'll see it in your commentluv.

Cas said...

It really takes alot even with me being pregnant to bring out anger with me...I think the only reason it happened this time is because I was so worried about or son. It wasn't the first time he was really sick Nov. 2009 we spent some time in the childrens hospital because of a allergic reaction to a med...his eyes were swelled shut and he was covered in a rash from head to toe...so now when he is feverish I get a little more stressed because that all started with a fever too. As for the boots...I had to work so hard to thaw them things out. I tried putting them over a vent with the heat on high...I thought about the oven...lol... I ended up manually blow drying them and kicking myself the whole time.